15 April 2011

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean!

She is TOTALLY making that up. I wake up every morning with a feather duster in my hands. After praying for a safe and clean day, I rush in to the baby's room to change his diaper. Isn't it incredible that I am able to do that without ever waking him up. I then zip into the bathroom and noiselessly shave, shower and dress, ALL while scrubbing the tub, bleaching the floors and toilet and folding towels that I washed while vacuuming after the baby but before the bathroom. The trickiest part of my morning comes from cleaning the burner guards while I make oatmeal for everyone. I set out old newspapers under Sammy AND Kara's chairs before I head out the door because I just KNOW that they will be throwing the very healthy oatmeal (infused with wheat germ) on the floor. My lunch-time highlight is when I rush home to take out the garbage and clean the refrigerator shelves. My wife makes the best dinners. I love washing all the dishes after she is done. I just wash Sammy right along with them. Now, does this sound like someone who accidently drops shaving cream on his wife's (recently sterilized) toothbrush? I think not. Just to prove my cleanliness, here's my first commercial for your viewing pleasure. I took out the earring and grew some hair since the 50's. Ahhhh... I love the smell of a freshly cleaned inaccuracy.

I am not making this up

I am 99% sure I brushed my teeth with shaving cream this morning.

I grabbed my toothbrush, wet the bristles, and stuck it in my mouth without looking at it. All of a sudden my mouth was filled with white foam and I started violently gagging. It took several rinses and many Dove chocolate eggs to get the taste out of my mouth. And yes, the toothbrush went in the trash can.

Ryan apparently made more of a mess than he normally does when he shaved this morning.